What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
