You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
