happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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