I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im drinking this country out of the recession.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
