so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
