my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
