My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
