also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
