Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize