We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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