she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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