We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
