did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
