girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
