We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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