Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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