next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
