Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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