I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The beer is more important than you right now.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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