Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think your dad took our porno
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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