Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
