Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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