YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The Olympian is in my bed
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
