Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
