Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i now understand why vodka
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
