I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
