your parents love me but you hate me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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