me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize