Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize