There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize