why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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