I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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