Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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