Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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