dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
