The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
