I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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