this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize