Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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