That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
