We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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