How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
