Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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