Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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