Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
