I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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