DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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