You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
