i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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