I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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