cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize