I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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