'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
