I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
