If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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