there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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