Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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