ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
