if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
