batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
