all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
