People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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