Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
