I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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