Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
