My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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