It's like God shit irony all over that family
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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